What do you do when something that you love, something you enjoy doing has a flipside to it that you hate?
That’s what I asked myself when my working hours became unexpectedly a lot longer than expected for weeks, as we rushed the project back on track, to the point where I was barely spending enough quality time with my kids. It got quite bad that I only got to see my kids for only fifteen minutes in a span of 36 hours, because of the hours I was keeping at work.
I love what I do. It’s something different than what I used to do. I’m creating something new, a product that’s going to be launched into the market, hence the tight deadline. I love the creating, the testing, the solving of problems but when we had to buckled down and push the work at the expense of family time, that’s when I’m questioning if my decision to do this job was the right one.
I’m the only one in my team with 2 kids under 4. Most of my teammates are singles with no kids, so I guess the time spent at work doesn’t impact them as much as it does for me, and the 2 other parents in my team. And I’ve been feeling like I’m just rushing to rush, just so that I can finally collapse at the d of the day and sleep.
I’m trying my best to carry my weight and doing my part in the team, but at the same time I’m also trying to be there when my kids, and my husband need me. I feel like I’m pushed and pulled in all directions.
Is all this stress worth it? I’m only a contract staff, which means that regardless of how hard I work, I don’t get performance bonuses but it goes against my ethics to not do my best at work.
Is missing out on my kids’ development worth all the work I’m doing, when they’re only that young once?
Despite certain policies encouraged by the government so that there’s at least some semblance of work-life balance, I don’t think that this will ever be realised while my kids are still kids.
My husband has been asking me if I really want to stay with the company. In all honesty, I don’t know. I love the work I do, but I hate the hours.
What would you do? Would you stay, and hope that it gets better? Or leave for another company that may or may it be better?
Minty Mint Tea 