The One Where I Traumatised My Daughter

What happens when your explanation or stories have a negative outcome that you didn’t expect?

That’s what happened to my daughter this week.

Story 1

We’ve been watching quite a bit of Disney movies, so one night, it was a very big surprise when she asked her father and I if she could have a stepmother.

So I gave her, what I thought was the simplest answer, that she could only have a step mother if I died. I didn’t think that talking about divorce, or polygamy to a 5 year old was the right time. Especially not when it’s about to be bedtime.

And my daughter broke down crying and screaming, “I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE!”

I took me a good long while to calm her down, to tell her no I wasn’t going to die, and I didn’t want to die either. And all this while my husband just kept his mouth shut, because he was a smart man.

Story 2

Trying to get the kids down for a nap can be very difficult sometimes,

Thursday was one of those especially difficult days so I told them a story that I just made up on the fly.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl and little boy who refused to nap. Their mummy and daddy tried everything but they refused to sleep, so their parents decided to just leave them in their room.

Suddenly, a magical door appeared on their room wall and it opened to reveal a witch.

The witch grabbed the 2 children and dragged them through the door, back to her gingerbread home, made from the bones of little children.

“So, you don’t want to nap,” said the witch, in a screechy voice. “Little children who don’t want to nap are going to be eaten!”

She threw both the children into her oven and cooked them. She had a very good meal that day.

After I finished the story, my daughter screamed and said, “Noooo! I don’t want to get eaten!” And then she curled up right next to me, and was out in 5 minutes.

Do I feel bad about making her cry? Sure, I am. But it does get my message across. I have no idea how this is going to affect her when she grows up, but I hope that it’s not something that she’ll need to see a therapist for.

Have you ever had something similar happen to you, either from a parent or you did this to your child? How did you get over the trauma, or helped your child get over it?